Super-kids and Super Problems
—By David Elkind
Not so long ago, most parents wanted their kids to be like everybody else．They were often as upset if a child were precocious (早熟的) as they were if the child were slow．Precocity was looked upon as being bad for the child's psychological health．The assumption was 'early ripe, early rot.'
Now that has changed．For many parents today there is no such thing as going too fast, and their major concern is that their child stay ahead of the pack (一群伙伴)．Far from presuming that precocity has bad effects psycho logically, they believe that being above the norm brings many benefits．The assumption' is 'early ripe, early rich!'
The major consequence of this new parenting psychology is that many contemporary parents are putting tremendous pressure on children to perform．at ever-earlier ages．A first-grade teacher told me that an angry mother screamed at her because she had given the woman's son a 'Satisfactory.' 'How is he ever going to get into M．I.T．if you give him a 'Satisfactory? '' the mother wailed.
Many parents now enroll their child in prestigious nursery schools as soon as the pregnancy is confirmed．And once the child is old enough, they coach the child for the screening interview．'When they count everything in sight,' one nursery school director said, 'you know they have been drilled before the interview.' Parents believe that only if the child gets into this or that prestigious nursery school will he or she ever have a chance at getting into Harvard, Yale, or Stanford．For the same reason, our elementary schools are suddenly filled with youngsters in enriched and accelerated programs.
It is not just in academic study that children are being pushed harder at ever-earlier ages．Some parents start their preschool children in sports such as tennis and swimming in hopes that they will become Olympic athletes．A young man who attended one of my child development lectures stopped by afterward to ask me a question．He works as a tennis instructor at an exclusive resort hotel in Florida and wanted to know how to motivate his students．When I asked how old they were he told me that they ranged in age from three to five years!
The pressure to make ordinary children exceptional has become almost an epidemic in sports．I had high hopes for soccer, which can be played by all makes and models of children, big, small, and in between．But in most states soccer has become as competitive and selective as baseball, football, and hockey．The star mentality prevails, and the less talented youngster simply doesn't get to participate．Play is out and competition is in.
The pressure for exceptionality is equally powerful at the secondary level．High school students are pressured not only to get good grades but to get into as many advanced-placement classes as possible．Around the country private tutoring centers are sprouting up like dandelions (蒲公英) in the spring, offering lessons in everything from beginning reading to taking college entrance exams．Other parents urge their children to start dating at an early age so that they will have good interpersonal skills and a better chance to win the most eligible mates.
Clearly, there is nothing wrong with wanting children to do their best．It is not the normal, healthy desire of parents to have successful children that is the problem, but the excessive pressure some parents are putting on children.
Why this push for excellence? Since parents today are having fewer children their chances of having 'a child to be proud of' are lower than when families were larger．The cost of child rearing has also increase