Party Random Thoughts
Last night, pressured by wdl4ntentioned friends, for the first time in months, I came out of writer’s seclusion and attended a cocktail party which is another word for a social gathering. So there I was, trapped in a crowded mom, people milling (乱转) all around me, each with a drink in hand, chitchatting while the waiters skillfully negotiated their way through the bustle with trays of colorful beverages and fancy hors d’oeuvres (小菜). It was definitely party time! Yet, instead of losing myself to the convivial (欢乐的) surroundings of food, drink and conversations, I found myself retreating back into my head all the way to China where the subject of American sociality is of great interest. In China, many of my students are curious about how Americans party and have a good time, "What do you do Sing and dance To what kind of music What’s American party talk How do you dress and act at a party How about food What do you eat"
Every year without fail, students ask their foreign teachers to dedicate a full class to this fascinating topic. Of course, one would think that a subject as interesting and entertaining as such would make for an excellent lesson plan, a rich source of discussions. But to my surprise, many teachers run into roadblocks (障碍) when generating this particular lesson plan. "Michelle, Michelle! I have to teach a class on American parties. And I only have, hmm, five things to say about it. And that I’ll talk about five minutes. What am I supposed to do after that" They cry. "Wall, tell me what those five things are," I ask. "Arrive late, talk, eat, drink and have a blast." They blurt out. It is true that the five steps listed above encompass much of the goings-on at American social gatherings. Of course, during parties for special occasions such as birthdays, holidays, weddings, baby showers, anniversaries, graduations, etc. , there are additional ceremonies such as cake cutting, gift opening, dancing’, toasting, -playing, etc. But regardless, the fundamentals of a typical American soiree (社交晚会) are good company, good food and drinks, and good times. Sounds simply, doesn’t it But if you were to look deeper and think further, you’ll realize that there’s far more to these steps than meets the eyes.
Fashionably Late
It is a major faux pas (social embarrassment) to arrive at a party early or even on time. Therefore, with the exception of the hosts, you never want to be the first person present at a social function. Why Because people fear that others may think that they have no life or nothing better to do than waiting for a party to start. Many Americans try to project an image of business which, whether true or not, has a positive correlation with success. So by arriving late, you are saying, "I lead a full life and it’s exciting and productive." Therefore, an 8 o’clock party customarily doesn’t really start until maybe 9 o’clock as everyone wants to be thought of as a busy and important person with lots to do. In other words, a party is one of those rare occasions where your punctuality can actually hurt you. Strange, isn’t it Anyhow, remember, be fashionably late.
Small Talk
One way of gauging the success of a party is by the noise meter. The louder the party is, the more happening it is, and the more fun people are having. Then you stop to wonder, if it’s .so noisy, how can people really hear each other and have great, engaging conversations The truth is, they don’t. They engaged in small talk, which is another word for casual, trivial conversations. They chew the fat, shoot the breeze and swap anecdotes about random- subjects: work, family, news, weather, hobbies, etc. Because the surrounding noise and activities often sidetrack people, it’s difficult to get personal or discuss any one topic at length or in depth. The point is to have fun, not to get serious.
However, keep in mind that since people tend to be in good moods and spirit when attending a social function, parties often provide an excellent environment for new friends and establishing valuable business contacts. In fact, in many professions, important business transactions am initiated at a social . People meet, have a nice chat, exchange information and make a good impression. Sometimes that’s all it takes to begin a long-lasting friendship or business association. ,So never underestimate the power of small talk.
Food for Fun
With the exception of dinner parties where a full meal is served, most parties offer finger food-food that you pick up with your fingers. (So don’t worry, it is not impolite to eat with your hands at parties.) Some of the classic party foods are cheese and crackers, crudites (vegetables and dip), fruits, shrimp toasts, Swiss meatballs, mini-sandwiches, shrimp cocktail, etc. And believe it or not, Asian foods are now in fashion. Mini egg rolls, California sushi rolls and various dim sum dishes always add an exotic flair to a party. And the Americans love it.
Anyhow, party foods are meant to be eaten as a meal. They are simply delicious accents to the party and eaten to absorb all that alcohol you’re about to consume. So don’t pile too much food on your plate. Remember, you can always get refills. And one more thing, don’t talk with your mouth full. It’s rude.
Drink and Be Merry
Here’s a frequently used party acronym, BYOB: bring your own bottle. Alcohol plays a big part in most American parties. To relax, unwind and enjoy themselves, people drink in a party. Anyhow that’s the way it should be. Unfortunately it’s not always the case and sometimes you sense the unspoken pressure to join the crowd. As a result, you feel out of place without a beverage in your hand. I even notice from observation that frequently the first thing people do upon arriving at a party is to hit the bar, kick off the night with a few drinks. Sometimes, there are even those, mostly young, who go to parties for the sole purpose of getting drunk, trashed, plastered, totaled. Not a smart thing to do since we all know the effect alcohol can have on us. (People tend to talk loudly when they’re intoxicated which might explain why it’s so loud at parties.) In America, there’s definitely a negative association between drinking and partying. If you lose control of your drinking, you lose control of your partying, and vice versa. As a result, drunks not only make a fool of themselves but their drunken behavior could ener their safety and the safety of others. I suppose as with most things, moderation is the key.
Party Hearty
At the end of day, the objective of attending a party is to have an unerated good time. A blast! And how do you do that You get in the spirit, go with the flow (but never do something you are uncomfortable with) and try not to be a party pooper (someone who spoils other people’s fun). If you have fun at parties, you are probably fun to have at parties. As a result, people who are more likely to invite you to their parties in the future.
As my mind wandered back to the party, I realized that I was standing alone, my stomach growling, my hands empty of a drink. I was being a total party pooper. So I quickly grabbed a drink from the bar and snatched some of the delicious party food that waiter was bringing by. With a smile, I rejoined my friends. That night, we talked, we drank, we ate. We had ourselves a great time. If you arrive early in an American party, how will other people think of you